Wednesday 23rd December

Ben crept into my bed yesterday morning for a snuggle and a chat.  He is ten.  And he is getting very excited about Christmas.   Or, in his words '  I've got butterflies about Christmas Mum.  I'm sort of excited and sort of scared as well'.   I asked why on earth he would be feeling scared!   He said ' In case its not as good as I want it to be and I don't get the presents I want.'    Part of me was amused by this brutal honesty, part of me was a bit miffed that he didn't trust us to provide him with a great Christmas.    And then I thought about how often I have had this very same response to God over the years.

We pray and ask for things.  Especially the big things, jobs, new homes, life partners, children  and we believe that God will answer us and give us the things we need and want.  And yet how often in
the back of our minds is there that nagging doubt that perhaps God wont answer us in the way we want?  Maybe He doesnt really love us quite as much as we hope He does.  Perhaps He isnt really able to pull it out of the bag at the crucial moment.  We try hard to believe that He is working everything together for our good and yet.... and yet....

Here's a challenging thought for you.   A friend of mine , in his mid forties, was diagnosed with MS this year.   We went to visit them at half term and took the time to pray for him, his wife an family.  Whilst we were praying I got the distinct impression that God was saying that the reason he has MS is BECAUSE God loves him.    Think about that for a minute.   That was a really tricky one for me to digest.   How can someone be afflicted with something degenerative and horrible because they are loved by God?

Well, what's the alternative?   The alternative is that either God doesnt love people who are sick.   Or that He does love them but He is not able to stop them from being sick.   Or that He loves them, and is able to stop them from being sick but chooses not to.    Now I think if you'd asked me I would have probably gone for option 3 and said that God chooses not to heal people for His own reasons which we don't understand and that if we pray sometimes we can ' change God's mind'.    But with my friend Ivan I'm pretty sure God was showing me something different.    God loves Ivan passionately.   And because He loves him Ivan has MS.     MS is going to afford Ivan opportunities with God that he would not otherwise have.   Ivan has a choice - go deeper into God.  Become a more compassionate and understanding person.  Do something of the ' sufferings of Christ' thing.  Or not.   But Im guessing that God knows which way Ivan will go and that He is taking him on a journey of discovery which will ultimately be for Ivan's good.

Now I know,  I know that some of you are yelling at me.  Yes, there's an enemy and we are in a fight. Yes sin and death have come into the world and mankind is fallen and we are all suffering the repercussions...... yes, I know , I know.    BUT  if God loves us, He loves us.  His love is pure, kind, overwhelming, generous, healing and peaceable.   If NOTHING can separate us from His love..... well that means nothing.   God loved Job and maybe BECAUSE He loved Job God allowed all sorts of horrible things to happen to him.  I don't think God used Job as a plaything to make a point and get one over on Satan.  That is not in the character of God at all.  He knows Satan's end from his beginning, He doesn't need to resort to cheap stunts.  I wonder if the only reason God allowed Satan to have free reign in Jobs life for a while was to afford Job the opportunity to have some of the most amazing and personal one-to-one God conversations recorded in the Bible.  By the end of his life Job was not only blessed materially, but surely he was blessed with a unique relationship with God.

I think God wants a deeper conversation with us.  More connectedness.  More opportunity to show His love and to receive ours.   We all know that we are so much keener to seek Him when we need Him and that it's easy to ignore Him when all is blue skies and plain sailing.   And sometimes God wrenches something from our hands because He has something much better for us round the corner or down the road.  At the time all we can see is the pain - but thats because we dont have an eternal perspective.

So are you scared this Christmas?  Frightened that God might not answer you or might ask something of you that you aren't prepared for?  As the angels said ' Do not fear'  - God loves you so much that He was born for you.